Amazon Adventures in Asshattery

A Reader's Respite has about three or four book reviews that we should be writing.

Instead, we're sitting here thinking about all the asshattery that goes on at Amazon.com.

For those of you wondering what an asshat is....well, we feel it's pretty self-explanatory, but in general it refers to one who's head is so far up their rear that it could pass for a hat.

Like this:

For those who don't submit book reviews over at Amazon, allow us to give you the run-down:

Anyone can write a book review for Amazon. Other Amazon customers who read reviews can choose, if they like, to vote on reviews. A review is either "helpful" or "not helpful."

Amazon then uses some ridiculously complicated formula to then rank reviewers based upon the number of reviews they've written, the number of "helpful" or "not helpful" votes, and the current alignment of the stars in the sky.

Now A Reader's Respite is still not sure what exactly benefits there are to a high reviewer ranking. Allegedly, reviewers with a high ranking are invited to participate in Amazon's version of Early Reviewers, which like LibraryThing, sends out advance reader's copies of new books for review. But aside from that, there don't seem to be any prizes, discounts or other incentives to participate.

And yet, some Amazon reviewers seem to take this whole ranking thing quite seriously. So much so that there are roaming packs of rabid reviewers who spend all day voting "not helpful" to every other reviewer in a pathetic attempt to raise their own rating.

Scary Amazon Reviewer

Then we have the maniacal "don't you dare give my favorite author a negative review" faction. Look out, these are some real loonies. If you dare to give their favorite author anything less than a five-star review, these nut-jobs find every review you've ever written and cast their all-powerful "not helpful" votes in some weird attempt to punish you.

Dave over at Read Street recently lured this faction out of Amazon when he posted about the Stephanie Meyer versus Stephen King smackdown. (Funny stuff if you haven't yet seen the comments on his post.)

Careful...they will attack

But the strangest of all creatures lurking about over at Amazon are the authors who feel that the Amazon reviews of their latest novel is the force that keeps the world spinning. Whatever you do, DO NOT offend these creatures. They will attempt to have you banned from Amazon altogether for the crime of having an opinion.

The problem over there seems to be the cloak of anonymity people are allowed. There is no accountability and it's easy for people to sign up for multiple and fraudulent accounts. Ergo, there is a lot of asshattery going on.


Now we know you were reading with baited breath for some big scandal going on over at Amazon.

But I'm not sharing.

Not because A Reader's Respite is noble and above the fray. But because we'd rather a couple of certain historical fiction authors not target this blog or blow up our house.

Seriously.


So do you even bother with Amazon anymore? Do you use the reviews when making a purchase?

And perhaps most importantly, when are people going to grow up?