Book Club Shenanigans and...Book Club Consultants?

The other day a conversation occurred on some social media outlet - I don't even remember where, which is either a sign that early onset dementia is setting in or that I flit around on far too many social media sites - that was kicking around a problem one particular book club was wrestling with.

This particular book club, let's call them the Book Ends for fun, had recently lost a member who moved away from their community.  Understandably, she missed her monthly meetings and discussions with the Book Ends and still wanted to be a part of that.  So she asked the Book Ends if she could still participate and retain her membership via technology.  After all, this is 2013.  An iPad and Skype would bring her right into the room with all of her friends and allow her to partake in every part of the club meeting but the wine and cheese.

The Book Ends seemed to be amenable to this idea, but wanted to know if any other book club out there had tried this and if it had worked well.  Lots of people weighed in with their positive experiences using technology with their book clubs.  

But then there was one.

Yes, this one who advocated kicking that person's butt right out of the Book Ends. After all, that person moved away. They aren't a part of that community anymore and need to find a new book club ASAP and get the hell out of the Book Ends.

Who was this person, I idly wondered. I clicked on their profile out of curiosity.  As it turns out, she is a PROFESSIONAL BOOK CLUB CONSULTANT.  Admittedly, my reaction ran along these lines...

What in the holy hell is a Professional Book Club Consultant?  I pondered this for some time. I wasn't going to allow myself the easy answer provided by Google.  Oh no. I was going to figure this one out on my own.

I began with the obvious. Did a Book Club Consultant get paid to set up a book club?  Is it an overwhelming task to gather a handful of friends who love books together?

Maybe it's a scheduling thing?  Picking the third Friday of every month is too difficult to arrange on one's own so a Book Club Consultant does that for you.

Or perhaps it's the menu. Yes, it could be the menu. A book club consultant could verify that no one has an allergy to gouda cheese so the fruit and cheese plate doesn't result in a Emergency Room visit.

But could it be that a Book Club consultant acts as a referee when book club discussions get a little too heated? That might very well be worth paying for since a knock down, drag out fight in your living room is a most undesirable result of book club meetings.

So this was my mental list of job what a PROFESSIONAL BOOK CLUB CONSULTANT might get paid for. I finally Googled the job to compare my list against the actual job description.

And guess what?

THERE IS NO DAMNED JOB DESCRIPTION.  Because no one actually does this shit for real.

Yeah. This is pretty much how my average day goes.  Whatev.