A Reader's Respite tried. We really did. But honestly, did we really expect to finish a 800 page novel that quite literally puts us to sleep every three paragraphs? At this rate, it would take us approximately 5 years to finish.
Here is our list of top ten reasons for not finishing The Brothers Karamazov.....
- It's disloyal to Tolstoy.
- We need to rest our eyes before our upcoming Lasik surgery.
- We wouldn't want to turn into a book snob.
- Big Kid thought the hardcover version solid enough to serve as a second base in the back yard.
- Any novel featuring a mystic Russian monk is simply foreshadowing Rasputin.
- Sarah Palin is planning on banning it in 2012.
- A dozen diminutive names per character is just plain annoying. (Alexei is also known as Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichick, Lyosha, Lyoshenka)
- It might encourage other pesky Russians to write repetitive drivel.
- The garbage needs to be taken out. (Mr. RR raises his eyebrows)
- The oil needs to be changed in the car. (Mr. RR falls over in a dead faint)