Top Ten Reasons for NOT Finishing The Brothers Karamazov

A Reader's Respite tried.  We really did.  But honestly, did we really expect to finish a 800 page novel that quite literally puts us to sleep every three paragraphs?  At this rate, it would take us approximately 5 years to finish.

Here is our list of top ten reasons for not finishing The Brothers Karamazov.....

1. It's disloyal to Tolstoy.
2. We need to rest our eyes before our upcoming Lasik surgery.
3. We wouldn't want to turn into a book snob.
4. Big Kid thought the hardcover version solid enough to serve as a second base in the back yard.
5. Any novel featuring a mystic Russian monk is simply foreshadowing Rasputin.
6. Sarah Palin is planning on banning it in 2012.
7. A dozen diminutive names per character is just plain annoying. (Alexei is also known as Alyosha, Alyoshka, Alyoshenka, Alyoshechka, Alexeichick, Lyosha, Lyoshenka)
8. It might encourage other pesky Russians to write repetitive drivel.
9. The garbage needs to be taken out.  (Mr. RR raises his eyebrows)
10. The oil needs to be changed in the car.  (Mr. RR falls over in a dead faint)